goobermunch: (Me)
Nobody likes trial lawyers until they need them.

Then, we become weapons. Business people sometimes joke with each other, saying “My lawyer can beat your lawyer.” It might be funny, but it’s no joke.

In the general public’s view, we are the weapons of the ruling class. Weapons with which to devastate anyone – or anything – blocking the path to domination. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Weapons we may be, but weapons with highly effective safeties; the safety mechanisms of the bar, the cannons of ethics, and above all, our own sense of justice and honor. Weapons indeed, not assault weapons, but rather a sword and shield – a shield to defend the meek, the poor, the powerless, the victimized. These are not empty words.

You know, nobody likes trial lawyers.

Nobody who addicts children to tobacco; nobody who puts lead in paint; nobody who pumps mercury into groundwater; nobody who sells improperly tested pharmaceuticals.

Nobody likes trial lawyers.

Nobody who ignores worker safety in factories; nobody who manufactures a faulty airbag, knowing it’s dangerous; nobody who puts asbestos into the environment.

Nobody likes trial lawyers.

Nobody who pollutes the earth and skies; nobody who produces contaminated food; nobody who pedals lethal baby cribs or toys; nobody who negligently operates offshore oil wells.

Nobody likes trial lawyers… until they need one.

The average person has never needed a trial lawyer, and, for the most part, they don’t know what we do. The Chamber of Commerce paints us as a group that impedes personal freedom, fabricates problems that don’t exist, and enriches the undeserving.

Other people see us as tools for corporate interests, and believe we’re used to manipulate the system in their favor. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, just the opposite is true.

We are champions, used to defend the meek, the poor, the powerless, the victimized. We do battle with those who would, otherwise, oppress with impunity.

These are not empty words. I loved work as a lawyer. I had over a hundred trials, and the greatest compliment I ever received was when someone said my work was “lawyerlike.”

Nobody likes trial lawyers until they need one. Nobody likes trial lawyers until they are the ones who have been injured, hurt, taken advantage of, or threatened by those in power.

We are protectors of the downtrodden.

We are protectors of those not knowing what to do.

We are protectors of those that are afraid.

We are everyday men and women who work hard, play by the rules, and who often take tremendous chances, investing years of our lives in pursuit of justice for a client scorned and ignored by the rich and powerful. We are people who believe in the equal justice promised by our Constitution, in the rules of law envisioned by our Declaration of Independence, and in its core promise that everyone is indeed, created equal with rights to life and liberty, which cannot be ignored or taken away.

Nobody likes trial lawyers – but they damn well should. And not just when they need one.
goobermunch: (Default)
Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can,
He knows stuff
about art
he has radioactive farts
Oh yeah, here comes the Spiderman.

--G with an assist from the dude.
goobermunch: (Default)
Twinkle, twinkle little star
I don't wonder what you are
I surmised your spot in space
When you left your missle base
Any wondering I do
Is centered on the price of you
And I shudder when I think
What you're costing us per twink!

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
Over dinner, at the table next to mine, a upper middle class white suburbanite 20-something:

So yeah, I worked in [field x] for a while, but it just didn't work out. But then, in the past four months or so, it came over me out of nowhere, like a dream: I needed to be in renewable energy.

No fuckwad. It didn't come over you out of no where. It came over you out of the economic collapse and the discussion of 40 Billion in stimulus for renewable energy. It wasn't a dream, it was greed (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Don't confuse being able to see the writing on the wall with prophetic ability.

_______________________

I ate dinner at the Blue Iguana tonight. It's a nice Mexican restaurant in downtown SLC, recommended to me by opposing counsel in my case.

It's in the basement of an older, but well maintained building. I gather that the upper floors are a Benihanas.

The Blue Iguana has a fairly wide ranging menu that is notable primarily by the presence of not one, but eight different moles.

I love mole.

Being tired, after a long day of deposition, I did not have the wherewithal to note all of the different varieties of mole. There were some classics, such as the poblano, and the thing that I can't remember the name of, but it's made with chocolate and peanuts. And then there were some exotics. The Amarillo mole looked tasty, but was made with habaneros, and carried a "spicy" warning. There was also a green mole made with pumpkin seeds that looked intriguing. In fact, there were simply too many mole choices.

So, I did what all sensible folks do when confronted with a new restaurant:
I asked the waitress to pick.

What I got was the De Almendras mole. With chicken, since it's usually a safe bet. The mole was fantastic. Delicate, subtle, complex. Unlike many moles I have had, the De Almendras was made from almonds, which were then accentuated with a mild combination of spices. I would totally eat it again.

But not on dry chicken breast.

I hate chicken boobs. They're dry, they're flavorless, and they're hard to eat. I have never encountered a meal where chicken breast meat served much of a purpose beyond carrying sauce to my mouth. Usually, in those meals, the sauces are bold, robust, and strong enough to hide the fact that the chicken boob is hanging around.

The De Almendras with chicken was not a sufficiently potent sauce to conceal the boob. Had they combined it with dark meat (like nearly every mole I've ever had), I think I would have had a different, and far more enjoyable dinner.

Which is not to say that the Blue Iguana was a poor choice. I would gladly return. The mole was well prepared. It was complex, subtle, and delicious. But the meat that went with it undermined the mole. Next time, I will either try one of the other moles, or try the De Almendras with turkey or pork.

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
Apparently, you weren't the only one caught out by Mr. Mutchnick's oven comment. He's offered a response.

I don't think it gets to quite the level of granularity you and I discussed earlier, but I think it does reflect a greater degree of awareness than you might have suspected.

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
Since my last heartwarming story turned out to be more controversial than I thought, here try this one!

http://www.jsonline.com/sports/preps/39694457.html

Warning: You'll want Kleenex when you read it.

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
This: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/max-mutchnick/where-did-you-get-them_b_168012.html

Tickled my funny bone immensely. Progress comes in strange shapes, folks.

--G

Tribute!

Jan. 19th, 2009 09:23 pm
goobermunch: (Default)
Just as an FYI, Amazon's got this new Universal Wishlist Functionality. You can add items from any website to your Amazon.com wishlist.

My sense of privacy warred with my acquisitive nature for about 3.2 seconds before I signed up. Amazon is now aggregating my purchasing habits not only on their site, but on the web as a whole.

I feel dirty, and only sweet, sweet loot will cure me.

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
It seems my video card is slowly succumbing to entropy. It's sad, but inevitable.

Since I have virtually given up on PC gaming for the time being, I was curious if anyone on my flist happened to have a spare AGP video card I could borrow until I can decide what to do about my computer.

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
Stolen from ng_nighthawk

If you saw me in a police car, what would you think I got arrested for? Answer, then if you want, post to your own journal and see how many crimes you get accused of.

(Try to post yours without looking at other comments first.)

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
There's still a small glimmer of hope for our country. There's hope where there's humor. )
goobermunch: (Default)
Hey all!

I have a good friend whose dog has cancer. They've decided to send her to CSU for treatment. However, it's really expensive.

They need someone to pick up their pooch and deliver her to CSU sometime in the next week.

If need be, I can take a day off work and do it, but I've been out of the office a lot in the past few weeks. Is there anyone who might have half a day to help a pooch in need? The thanks would be enormous.

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
Circulating on Wall Street:
SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV
SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

FOS

Sep. 18th, 2008 07:44 pm
goobermunch: (Default)
The best part of making your own french onion soup is being able to have seconds, just because.

--G
goobermunch: (Screwed)
It's been a while since I pulled an all-nighter. Mediation statement for the client from hell is complete!

Workz done!

Can haz sleep nao?

Damn! Just killed a lolcat.

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
The Second Amendment protects an individual right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia, and to use that arm for traditional lawful purposes, such as self-defense within the home.

--G
goobermunch: (Default)
Sony DVD player?

We've got a 5-disc changer that we no longer need. It's a great progressive scan DVD player and I'd like to see it off to a good home.

I was hoping to get about $50.00 for it. If you're interested, let me know. If you're not, no worries.

--G
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